So we have all dealt with our friend ditching us for her new boyfriend or how you hate the guts of the new guy in her life. But there might be times when her annoying and stupid relationship can turn into something toxic and it’s time to have the talk. I give you now how to know when you should step into your friend’s toxic relationship, and how to do it the right way.
It’s completely normal for your friend to totally disappear in the initial weeks/months of her relationship. But sometimes it’s not because they’re “so in love” with their new bae that they’ve forgotten about everyone else in their life. If someone’s relationship doesn’t allow her to hangout with their friends, or even their family, it’s definitely not a healthy one.
Your friend may not even realise that she is being distanced from her friends, it might be because her s/o is afraid that he might lose her and wants to keep her with him all the time so that she doesn’t realise that he is not good enough. Make an effort to hang out with your friend. If she keeps dodging you, something’s up.
2 Sad Quotient is More than That of Happiness
A good way to see if your friend’s relationship is good for her is to see how her mood has been since entering the relationship. Is she happier and bouncier and more talkative? Obviously, that’s good. Is she always hiding in bed, sad, or always finds fighting and crying? Probably not so good.
3 Her Self Confidence Has Hit Low
If you realise that your friend has been self doubting herself on her looks, her confidence, or her personality as a whole because her boyfriend keeps on commenting and taunting on them then she has to definitely get out of that namesake relationship.
4 She Has Stopped Doing the Things She Loves
If your friend drops everything that she has ever loved just because her “boyfriend” doesn’t like her doing that stuff be it as simple as spending some money on clothes then there is definitely something wrong. If he cared enough, he would always support her in whatever she does and encourage her to do them. If this goes on, then one day your friend will wake up and be like ‘Hang on a second, I’m not living the life I wanted to live, I’ve morphed into this other person,’ and we don’t want that at all.
5 You See Him Mistreating Her With Your Own Eyes
If you see him mistreat her in public, it’s game over and you absolutely have a right to speak out to her. It can be in any form be it humiliating her in public, shouting at her, dominating her or even raising his hands on her – that’s when you really have an opening to step in and say something, because you’ve actually seen the evidence.
How To Do It
Once you realize your bestie’s boyfriend is controlling her or manipulating her, how do you tell her? You don’t want her to brush it off as jealousy or to agree with what you’re saying and stay with him anyway. You may think that your opinion is valued, but you have no idea how manipulative a person can be.
You just cannot go and confront her or shout at her as that will only anger her and she may end up not talking to you again. Remember that your friend’s relationship was probably good at some point, so try to empathize with her for staying rather than acting like she’s an idiot for getting into the relationship in the first place.
- Always do it in person, message language can be interpreted in many ways. You may have meant it in a nice way but she might read it and consider it to be bitchy and rude. Do not use the word toxic as it may trigger her. Approach the topic softly and speak in a way that doesnot offend her. If worse comes to worse you can also talk to her family about this and all of you guys can make her sit and together talk to her about it and put some sense in her head. She might be annoyed initially, but she’ll one day realize you’re doing it because you care about her!